works on Paper
Constance Adler has written for various magazines and weekly newspapers. Stories online are linked below. Stories published on paper are preserved here, as well.
Not Dead Yet — Read my scathing exposé of the seamy underworld of book award scams. I was not ready for sainthood. I went hunting for the big rat.
Word Perfect — Ten thousand members, Two hundred clubs. The National Scrabble Championship gears up.
From Lexico to ESPN — The gentle Scrabble games that take place in family dens across the country are probably what was intended by the game's inventor Alfred Mosher Butts, who conceived of Scrabble in the early 1930s as a social pastime.
Drawing From the Past — Henri Schindler has devoted his life to a single mission: bringing the mystery and splendor of 19th century Carnival onto 21st century streets.
Nancy Drew in New Orleans — The girl detective’s biggest fans come to town to solve some mysteries of their own.
We Called You a Man — Today, Jesus Christ wears a tan cardigan sweater embroidered with the Mount Carmel Academy crest, a brown plaid pleated skirt, a white Peter Pan collar blouse.
The Passion of Kathy Randels — The performance artist follows her curiosity wherever it takes her.
Neither Wind Nor Rain — She had such a sweet name, Betsy.
The Blood Drive — This tragedy happened far from New Orleans, but we know our world has been permanently changed.
A Question for Professor Soble — On the matter of the clitoris, Professor Soble misses the point. He does get an "A" for effort.
The Clown Prince — The circus is starting! The whole scene feels like a page from a Dr. Seuss book, only without the orderly rhyme scheme.
The Making of a Museum — The signs began to appear a few weeks ago, sprouting on front lawns apparently overnight.
The Meet Market — Nancy Roscow lost her faith 35 years ago, during the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago.
No V-Day At Loyola — In just about any context, the topic of vaginas would never be boring, most true at a Jesuit university.
Best Shrine — When I cross the threshold into St. Roch Chapel, it is as though I am stepping out of ordinary time and space.
The Elegance of Gravity — Scientists at LIGO wait for detectable signs of gravity waves. And wait . . . and wait.
Tell Tale Heart — The first day that I hear confessions in the shadow of St. Louis Cathedral is one of those steamy late-summer days when nothing seems to move at all.
Sidewalk Redemption — Utne Reader reprint: Speak your secrets and unchain your soul.
Henry’s Balls — I asked for a dog, and the Universe sent me a macho shithead.
Death and the Fairy — Carnival, skeletons, and Emily Dickinson.
Down For the Count — This is no job for a misanthrope like me. My tragic employment history as a census taker.
The Ultimate Leap of Faith — The man falls from high places into shallow water. That’s what he does. Why? Because he can.
Girl Crazy — She is the great bubbe of movie reviewers. Worshippers at the Kael altar should beware, however, of a peculiar tendency in her writing.
And Yet You Can Find Self-immolation in the Dictionary — Most people with a grade school education could explain dance or sculpture, or for that matter Oh Kay! But few of us have the facility with language to explain what performance art is.
School of Hard Knocks — Oxford American looks at education, while I read Emily Dickinson poems with homeless Vets..
The James Gang Rides Again — The annual conference of James Joyce fans is always an eccentric affair.
What I Like About Bill Blass — His candor: “Honey, don’t ever let ‘em tell you money isn’t attractive.”
His Brilliant Career — Actor/comedian Seth Green at age thirteen. Seth does have some unfortunate habits.
Telling is the Night — “It’s very seldom that you find a man who cleans as well as a woman,” says Martha.
House of Ushers — With a flashlight and a prayer, the Academy of Music’s ushers are the working stiffs of high art.
Meeting Needs — On Christmas night, they called Galloway's aunt in Sri Lanka who told them that there had been a tidal wave and that there were reports of 160 people killed.
In Living Colors — Among the many T-shirt wisdoms that have proliferated since Katrina is: “New Orleans: It sticks to you."